BYOBB

Bring your own baby and beverage.  That is what BYOBB stands for literally, but our weekly mommy group means so much more.  Every Wednesday I have anywhere from 2 to 7 moms and their little chicks over to my house for happy hour.  Wednesday is the "hump" day of the week and it is the perfect day to take a break from the whirlwind of motherhood, have a drink, and vent.

And oh do we vent.  We talk about our kids, we talk about our spouses, we talk about out uteruses, we talk about whatever it is that we need to get off our chests.  We are a mix of women...from late 20's to early 40's  and we are bound by the wild experience of being new mothers.  

Being a new mother this day in age is not easy.  In our culture, most of us do not live with extended family...or anywhere near our family.  While generations before us had aunties and grandmothers to build a village to raise our children, today we are isolated...and it is through friendship we find our little tribes that give us the support we need.

At BYOBB there is always a snack for the kids...a fruit of some sort, and always booze for the moms...and something non alcoholic for those with another bun in the oven.  The last gathering Kate, mother of two adorable little fellas brought Tom Collins fixings to add to the 3 half full bottles of wine I had set out.  At BYOBB we are far from booze hounds, but lets just say...we don't mess around.

If it is warm out, I set up the kiddie pool on the porch, pull out some beach chairs and let the kids splash it out while we hash it out.  Water is such an awesome toy for little ones.  It isn't something they can't easily hoard or fight over...which gives us moms a chance to shoot the breeze without having to break up toddler snatch attacks.  

If it is ugly out we move the party inside.  This particular BYOBB there was an offering made to our garden Buddha.

Making time to unwind is hard for parents, and this little weekday get together gives both mom and the kiddos time to let loose a little bit.  I think taking a little time to unwind on "hump day" is probably a healthy practice for anyone, not just mamas.  So often we wait until the weekend to let go, but it is in the middle of the week that we need a break the most.

Good Life Quest # 11 / Hump Day Happiness


Pick an up coming Wednesday and take a little time to unwind.  Do something out of your normal routine, something you save for the weekends.  Maybe grab a drink with a friend after work, or go for a hike.  Whatever it may be...see if you notice a difference in your world during the last 2 day push before the weekend.  Do it for your own sanity.

More Mouths to Feed

2 babies. 2 dogs. 2 cats. And now 2 fish.  Every day I am responsible for making sure all these creatures are fed.  The babies, dogs, and cats are relentless in their yearning for meal time.  The babies cry.  The dogs hound me and nip at my heals. But our fish Ponyo and Poopy wait silently until I happen past their tank and sprinkle a little food in.

Ponyo and Poopy were Lil' Bit's gift for her second birthday.  I begged Chef not to get them.  "I have enough to deal with already. You can only get them if you promise to be the one to clean their tank."  Guess who cleaned the tank last?  Lets just say it was not Chef. 

Lil' Bit named the goldfish...Ponyo after her favorite animation character and Poopy because every time we see the fish it seems to be defecating.

We went out of town for almost two weeks in August and when we returned Poopy was twice the size as Ponyo.  At first I thought perhaps they were over fed, but both fish would have gained weight.  Now we think perhaps that Poopy is in fact a girl and that she is pregnant, which would make Ponyo a boy.  These things are hard to tell with fish.  

I have a terrible history with feeding fish.  About seven years ago my uncle who raises koi asked me to feed his fish while he and my aunt were on vacation.  He has a beautiful little pond at his house full of lily pads and vibrant koi.  Koi, like most larger fish, eat pelleted food.  The instructions were simple.  Take a scoop of food out of the bucket and toss it in the pond once a day.  I diligently fed the fish every morning, so they would have full bellies for the day.  It was a beautiful and peaceful ritual that I enjoyed, no chore about it.

It all went smoothly until 2 days before their return.  I went over in the early morning hours like usual and to my horror all of my uncle's gorgeous koi, that he had bred and raised himself, were floating belly up amongst the lilly pads in the soft morning light.  Total massacre.  It is an image that will haunt me for the rest of my life.  I thought for sure it was me who killed them, given that they were left in my stewardship.  It turned out that something happened with the pump in the pond and they did not have enough oxygen.  So, I was off the hook so to speak...but I still felt terrible.

I am a Pisces so at the risk of sounding terribly New Age, I have a certain affinity towards fish.  Even though I resent having two more mouths to feed at home in a day, I love to watch out fish swirl about their little tank.  I find it relaxing, although I do feel little guilty that they are trapped in there for the rest of their lives with only little stinky red flakes of food to eat.  At least they have each other, Ponyo and Poopy...and perhaps one day they will have a family.  

Goldfish love to eat their babies.  They loooove the taste of their fry...the little cannibals.  I have no idea what I am going to tell Lil' Bit if Poopy has babies and then eats them.  "She wanted to keep her babies in her tummy because they tickle."  That is the best I can come up with.  I hope she buys it.

Shana Tova

I grew up attending private schools in South Florida.  Every year the Jewish students would get certain days off while us gentiles had to drudge through class.  Rosh Hashanah, the Jewish New Year, was the first of the holidays that my friends had to celebrate while I spent the day at school.  As a child I never knew what Rosh Hashanah was exactly, but I liked how it sounded.  Rosh Hashanah...say it a few times.  It has a nice ring to it.

When Chef and I first started dating and Rosh Hashanah rolled around I decided to make a traditional Jewish meal to celebrate the holiday.  I had no idea what I was celebrating so I googled it and printed up pages of information about the holiday and the symbolism of the food eaten. The Jewish New Year, like most Jewish holidays revolves around culinary tradition.  I made brisket, his Aunt Elaine's apple kugel, stuffed cabbage with buffalo meat ( I have no idea why I used buffalo, it is probably the only chemical free meat I could find at the grocery store). I pulled out all the stops.  I wanted to show his family that this shiksa meant business.

One of the most beautiful things about the Rosh Hashanah meal is the Challah bread.  I mean look at this loaf above, isn't it just gorgeous.  For this holiday, Challah is a round shape, in honor of the cycle of the celebrated year.

We started the meal with a prayer and the breaking of the bread.  I do not know Hebrew, but I love the rhythm it carries as as language.  Lil' Bit watched Chef and repeated the prayer word for word before shouting "Shana Tova" (happy new year) in a toast of Blackberry Manischewitz.  "Mani" as many members of the Tribe warmly refer to it, is a wine that is kosher, blessed by the Union of Orthodox Jewish Congregations of America and it tastes like melted popsicles.

Next course was the mother of of all Jewish comfort foods...Matzah Ball Soup.  Lil' Bit was weirded out by the doughy balls.  She had me remove them and then proceeded to take her little bowl in her hands and drink the broth down.  

Chef and I had a sort of kitchen relay in preparing our main course, stuffed cabbage.  Earlier in the day while the ladies were sleeping I made the sauce and the stuffing.  When he came home from work he cooked the cabbage leaves, stuffed them and cooked them off.  We used Ina Garten's recipe, but replaced the ground chuck with ground turkey.  This picture does not do them justice...they are actually utterly delicious, very easy to make, inexpensive, and perfect for a cold weather meal.

For dessert...apples and honey.  Well, not for Chef.  Apples are lethal to my old man.  Apples and honey symbolize a "sweet year." The tradition comes from medieval times, but the phrase "sweet year" seems more like contemporary surf lingo if you ask me.  


"Sweet year, man.  Sweeeet year."

29 South Family Feast

Last Sunday we threw the staff at 29 South our annual employee appreciation dinner...aka Feast Party for the people who strive to keep our restaurant booming.  Seven courses for twenty-two people cooked by Chef and served by yours truly to celebrate the job they do for us.  I am not trying to brag, okay maybe just a little bit...but Chef and I pulled it off without a single harsh word... all seven courses in exactly 2 hours. In order to keep the peace between us, there are 3 rules I must follow when Chef and I embark on a production like this:

1. Don't give suggestions. 2. Don't ask questions. 3. Keep my head down and do what the man says.


Chef begins prep for parties of this nature about 2 days out, depending on what he is cooking. A sure sign that something delicious is going on in the kitchen is when you pop open your garbage can and a pile of lobster shell is looking back at you.

Sweet pea panna cotta in process...a precarious set up. 

While he cooks, I clean. And clean. And clean some more. I clean during prep, during the meal, and afterwards as well.  But I am not singing the dishwater blues...I also get to make lovely little arrangements for the tables. This year I wanted to use things from our garden only....here we have buckwheat, sage, and rosemary.  Simple and fresh.

The first course of the evening, served with a yummy Pinot Gris was Crispy Pork Belly with Honey Roasted Peaches.   I am a huge fan of sweet and savory and this plate nailed the best of both.

The second course,  Braised Veal Cheek Lasagna with Chestnut Cream.  I don't eat baby animals, but if I ever did this is how I would want to do it.  There is eight sheets of paper thin hand rolled pasta in this little cheeky bite.  I was really tempted to lick the chestnut cream pot...

                                     

Remember the peas from earlier and the lobster..well this is how it turned out...not too shabby huh?  Lobster on Sweet Pea Panna Cotta with Creme Fraiche and Caviar

                                               

The next course was not served with a glass of wine...because it was a Prosecco and Elderberry Gelee with fresh berries. A nice little palatte cleaner don't you think?

                                

The picture below does not do this course justice. Ballotine of Quail with Boar Sausage and Chevre Filled Marrow Bones. To the left is a faux marrow bone.  Chef carves them out of potato and fills them with a savory custard.   As I was clearing the tables after this course I practically had to pry the plate out of the hands of our chef de cuisine.  

                               

The cheese course...Roasted Pears in Vin Santo with Pecorino.  It was just gorgeous.  Chef is a true artist...how could I not love this man.

                              

I mean he is adorable is he not?  

                              

This is the final course, Sea Salt Caramel Coppetta with Rosemary Chocolate Sauce and Candied Bacon.  Yes, candied bacon.  This little sundae was extraordinary. 

                                 

The aftermath.  We knocked it out of the park. Yes, I am so tooting my own horn.  It was a blast.  Chef had to spend the evening in the kitchen, but I mixed and mingled while serving.  It was great to see our entire staff,  the front and back of the house together, all smiles, enjoying a meal that they didn't have to cook or serve.  It was our gift to them for all they give to us...a 29 South family feast.

                              

First Foods

First foods.  Do you know what your first food was?  My first taste of real food was peas. It is a strange choice to make as a parent, the first real food you feed your child.  Most docs and books recommend "yellow foods" as good firsts.  Yellow foods meaning squash, bananas, sweet potatoes...although they are far from yellow. This week The Sprout begins to eat real food.  For the past month she has dined on nothing more than human milk and rice cereal...with the occasional sip or two of water.  Poor thing.

Ask yourself...would I want to eat food out of a jar for months on end while everyone around me is dining on freshly cooked food?  Most of us would answer, Yuck!  So why would you feed your baby jarred food for their first year of life?  In a pinch while traveling, I can see...but day in and day out it just doesn't make any sense to me.  Like all first experiences, a human's first time to exercise their taste buds should be exciting...not old mushy flavors from a jar.



Lil' Bit's first food was a puree of steamed organic peas.  I didn't know at the time that it was my first food, I just wanted her first food to be green and it seemed like a nice mild choice.  For The Sprout I wanted  her first food to be raw.  So I chose banana, and she loved it.   Now people say don't start your baby out on sweet foods like fruits because they will only eat sweets and not veggies.  To that I say poppycock.  Banana was Lil' Bit's second food and today her favorite food is kalamata olive.


When I tell people that I make my own baby food they look at me like I am some sort of hippie nazi.  When I see people feed their baby banana baby food from a jar I look at them and think suckers. To make your own banana baby food you peel a banana, mash it up with a fork, and add a little water, maybe some rice cereal.  It doesn't get much easier, and it is much less expensive.  Organic bananas run about $1.00/lb...vs. $1 per 8 ounce jar of baby food!


Baby food is so easy to make it is ridiculous not to.  Bake a sweet potato, mash it, add water...baby food.  Peel an avocado, mush it, add water...baby food.  Steam some green beans, throw them in a food processor...yup. Baby food.  I usually just take whatever vegetable I am making for dinner...set aside a small portion unseasoned and puree it.  That is how I make baby food.


Sometimes I freeze it, but usually I just make enough for a day or two and keep it in the fridge....the same way I make food for the rest of the family.  It is just apart of my cooking routine...nothing laborious about it.  It requires no cookbook.  Although...if you do want to be adventurous, particularly as your baby starts growing chompers, this book

The Petite Appetit Cookbook by Lisa Barnes is the best book I have come across for healthy whole food for baby.  As the wife of a Chef lets just say I have received a pile of baby cookbooks, and this one takes the cake.


Chef's mom, Gan Gan gave me a mini Cuisinart as a gift and let me tell you...it is one of the best things I have received as a mother.  I made all of Lil' Bit's food in it, and now moving onto The Sprout's meals...and it is great for little things like salad dressings.  I find it much more practical than "The Bullet" or other make-your-own baby food gadgets.


So there you have it.  Baby food is nothing fancy...it is the same food you eat.  Unless you are a total carnivore, which is just gross.  Fruits, vegetables, water = baby food...throw in a little ground meat later on.  Do your kid a favor and cook the little tike a meal.   It will only make them better eaters as they grow! 

The M&M

The image above sums up my entire potty training strategy for Lil' Bit.  Bribing children with candy is a trick as old as the day is long.  Do I feel guilty about it?  Somewhat, given that her dental hygiene is skill yet to be fully developed.  But whatever.  Star stickers just don't hold the same sway over Lil' Bit the way a single yellow M&M does.  A mama's gotta do what a mama's gotta do...and this woman needs to get one of her two children out of diapers pronto.


The M&M is an American icon.  The little candy was created by Forrest Mars, founder of Mars Company.  In the 1930's he witnessed soldiers in the Spanish Civil War eating little candy covered chocolates.  Mr. Mars patented the confection on his return to the USA, and in 1941 began production.  William Murrie, then President of Hershey Co., owned 20% interest in the little candy and provided the chocolate, which was rationed at the time due to WWII.  The candy originally was produced in 5 colors: red, yellow, brown, green, and violet...with Mr. Mars and Mr. Murrie's intitals stamped on each pellet.


M&M's are always coming out in some new flavor variety.  I think chocolate coconut is one of the most recent....but I gotta be honest I am a sucker for the original candy as well as the peanut.  Sometimes there is just no improving a product.


We are just beginning the potty training battle, and while it is a far cry from the Spanish Civil War, it is a harrowing experience.  The vibrant little candies Mr. Mars brought to America 70 years ago provide a sweet motivation for Lil' Bit to get her little butt on the toilet.  It is amazing how foods move throughout the decades, from one culture to another.  From homesick soldiers to homebound toddlers, the candy covered chocolate now known as the M&M is a tiny sweet that has brought happiness to the masses throughout history.  Just looking at a jar of them is enough to brighten a mood...don't you think?

Coffee Shop Culture

Since I was a teenager, before I even really enjoyed coffee, I have frequented coffee shops.  I love to write and read in coffee shops.  I love to eavesdrop.

Like at this moment, I am sitting at my usual table in a local shop next to another group of "regulars"... an elderly couple and a middle aged woman.  The couple seems to be just friends, or perhaps neighbors, with the single woman.  The trio meet here at the same time every Tuesday to do nothing but read trivia to each other and grab a light lunch.  It is fascinating eavesdropping!  I just learned that the sound of a shrimp is the only natural noise that can wipe out of the noise of submarine sonar.  Who the hell knew?


The old lady is not buying it. She doesn't believe the shrimp theory.  This old lady, I wish you could see her.  She is absurdly put together, the way only the elderly and toddlers can pull off without looking completely foolish.  She is dressed in pink and white, from her hat to her clip on earrings, to her elastic waistband pants, to her shoes...pink and white...her eyebrows painted in high arches towering over a little sharp nose and strangely full pink lips for such an old woman.  I can smell her face powder.  Her husband is in a darling red jacket even though it is literally 100 degrees outside and is wearing white socks with white loafers.  They open up every meeting with the elderly man reading everyone's horoscope, and luckily the old lady is a Pisces so I always get to hear mine as well.

I listen to these people chat every Tuesday, tuning into their trivia when my mind begins to wander from my writing. That is the beauty of a coffee shop. Hey the old man just asked the younger woman to make a reservation at 29 South this evening!  My God this is a small town!

Unlike a bar, where the beverage imbibed clouds one's judgement, coffee is clarifying.  It allows for an exchange of ideas between people without any sort of agenda other than simple conversation.  Coffee shops play a pivotal role in our society. When was the last time you spent time in a coffee shop?  Twice a week I claim a table as my own and set to work for hours.  It is the best office a girl can ask for.


It is a been a long while since I have give a Good Life Quest...

Good Life Quest #10 : Coffee Shop Quality Time
Grab a cup of joe or a cup of tea or whatever you drink at a local coffee shop.  Try to avoid a corporate chain, if possible...there is a certain ambience to the small business coffee shop that the big boys just lack.  Bring a book, or a friend.  Give yourself an hour and enjoy coffee shop culture, still thriving after all these years!